Apparently, American children have been saving up their allowances, Modern Philosophers, because those who occupy the kiddie table on Thanksgiving have just hired a powerful D.C. lobby group to campaign on their behalf.
Dylan Chatsworth, of the Beltway’s Havisham Group, spoke to this Modern Philosopher about his latest assignment. “My job is to represent the children of the United States of America in their quest to have the Calendar Commission upgrade Thanksgiving to “Gift Giving” Holiday status.”
Doesn’t he really mean gift getting? “Sure,” Chatsworth agreed with a winning smile, “but it’s a lobbyist’s job to put the proper spin on an idea to make it sound more appealing.”
Don’t children understand that the whole point of Thanksgiving it to focus on those things for which we’re thankful? “Of course. What my clients need for the adults of this country to understand, though, is that Thanksgiving is an extremely stressful…
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Laureate Louise 